What's the Matter, Scared?
by Patinator
Summary: A fic made of one-shot chapters, though some are closely related, all centered around Wolf O'Donnell. And who's better to write such a fic than the ultimate Wolf fanboy, eh?
1. LANDMASTER!

PM: And here, we begin… The first chapter in the oneshot series devoted to the most awesome Smash character ever, Wolf O'Donnell

PM: And here, we begin… The first chapter in the oneshot series devoted to the most awesome Smash character ever, Wolf O'Donnell. I devote this chapter to fellow author Fire Emblem MewMew, who suggested the plot via the SUPER SMASH BROS.: BRAWL! forum… Which I recommend visiting. Cough-cough

Disclaimer: Wolf, Star Fox, Landmasters (YAY!), and Smash Bros. don't belong to me.

_**Chapter One: LANDMASTER!**_

A gray-furred canine delivered the finishing blow to his opponent, a pink puffball clad in little more than red shoes. Kirby, hero of Dream Land, rocketed away from the hovering, stone-made stage that was Battlefield from Wolf O'Donnell, the newest and last newcomer of the Brawl tournament, and his Down Smash attack. Kirby's last life was taken away as a bright explosion of red and white light came from an invisible wall, the stage's left blast line.

Wolf disappeared, and reappeared in an empty, endless area with a cloudy, orange-yellow background. Kirby was waving his stubby, pink arms above his head behind the canine, trying to clap. Wolf leaned over, growled, and then stood back up, making another sound, which sounded like a mix between a laugh and a groan.

The fight announcer yelled: "The winner is… WOLF!"

Wolf chuckled as he and Kirby disappeared again.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Wolf O'Donnell, leader of the "outlaw" band Star Wolf in the Lylat System, a solar system in the "Star Fox universe", was quite the fighter. He had two days of experience under his belt, yet he could take down many of his opponents, or at least go toe-to-toe with them.

The ferocious pilot was a very aggressive fighter, his typical finishing moves being either strong enough to KO the opponent twenty damage points before, like his back-and-forth claw-sweep Down Smash, scissor-kick Up Smash, or potent edge-guarding Back Aerial, or flashy, like the end of his rapid forward-and-up dashing move, the Wolf Flash.

These traits earned him many names from the nearby Smash Town, such as "Bloodthirsty Monster", or "Crazy Sadistic Mutt". Even Captain Falcon, one of the bravest and strongest Smashers, gulped when he was assigned to fight Wolf after his second match. The racer one by mere damage, since his signature, electrifying Knee Smash and Wolf's Back Aerial attack both collided, Wolf being closer to the blast line.

Wolf took nothing from anyone. He clawed at the Hyrulian princess Zelda one time for insulting him after a match, the Crimean mercenary Ike stopping him from inflicting serious harm upon the fragile ruler.

But behind his back, out of his excellent hearing range, many of the Smashers and townsfolk spoke teasingly about his Final Smash, the ultimate move attained from breaking a rainbow-colored Smash Ball open…

Falco Lombardi, ace pilot of the Star Fox group, thought he had it bad enough; despite his preference of aerial combat, he had to utilize a Landmaster, a blue and white tank modified for the Star Fox team, as his Final Smash, just like Fox.

Wolf, too, was stuck with a Landmaster, though it was black and red, much like his ship, the _Wolfen_. He had never piloted one before, though he had planned on building one himself to help combat and defeat his rival, Fox McCloud, leader of Star Fox…

The gray-furred canine stepped into the Smash Mansion's bar later that evening, which typically sold non-alcoholic drinks. He approached the counter, a certain gray and dark blue-clad human man being the clerk. It was Solid Snake, a legendary reconnaissance soldier.

"…I'll have the usual." said Wolf, in his moderately deep, slightly country-accented voice.

Snake nodded, pulling out a shining martini glass. He filled it with three ice cubes from beneath the counter, and an orange soda.

Wolf grabbed the glass with his clawed fingers and sat down at a table in the left corner of the bar, looking out the window toward a small river, and the beautiful pinkish-orange sunset. He brought his drink to his white-furred lips and sipped his orange beverage.

_How the heck did I get stuck with that stupid tank, anyway? Those two hands must've been at a loss for creativity, or perhaps had an abundance of __**stupidity**__, when they assigned a vehicle I've never, ever piloted to be my Final Smash! At least the controls are simple…_

A television set in a small shelf above the bar counter was showing the last match of the day… Of all things, Wolf's lifelong, bitter rival, Fox McCloud, fighting against the rival pilot of Wolf's associate and most trusted team member, Leon Powalski, being Falco Lombardi.

The match was on one of ten stages brought back from the previous tournament, named Corneria; fights took place on the gigantic airplane and base of operations of Star Fox, the _Great Fox_, as it cruised through a section of Corneria City.

Fox was down to a single stock from five, Falco under the same conditions. According to the damage meters at the bottom of the screen, Fox had sustained sixty-six damage, measured as a percent, and Falco 59.

Suddenly, as Fox began approaching his friend from the end of the ship, a sphere of multiple, glowing colors, having an off-center cross in it, materialized from nowhere. That was the Smash Ball.

Falco ran toward the floating item from the head of the ship, the cobalt falcon nailing it with the initial strike of his rather feared Down Aerial attack; Falco spun around with his legs straight out, the initiation of the attack being a powerful Meteor Smash, an attack of downward knockback. The Smash Ball flew over to Fox's side of the stage, where the brown-furred canine jumped at it and hit the ball with his Up Aerial attack, a strong move involving an upward flip-kick, followed by a smack from his brown, white-tipped tail.

The sphere broke, as Fox gained an aura of multiple colors; red to yellow, to orange, to blue…

The camera zoomed in on him as the pilot yelled, "_**Landmaster!**_"

He flew up to the top of the stage, out of camera view, and came down inside a large, white and blue tank- the Landmaster of Fox and Falco.

Wolf growled quietly as his ears flinched at that cry, closing the single usable eye he had, the other being covered by his signature gray-with-a-blue-lens eye-patch, or scouter, as some called it.

…_That yell… Oh, how I loathe that yell…_ he thought, watching as Fox shot several blue and white energy shots from the tank's large cannon.

_At least I didn't have to copy that irritating noise for my Final Smash… 'We're gonna have fun with this thing!' sounds a lot better than…_

Wolf gritted his many teeth as he did a squeaky, mocking imitation of Fox. _…'LANDMASTER!'…_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_The next day…_

Wolf had been assigned to another fight; this one against Ike, a blue and red-clad, sword-wielding mercenary from the continent of Tellius, of the Fire Emblem universe. His sword, an orange blade called Ragnell, had been described as "holy", having been blessed by the creator of Tellius.

It was a two-stock match, with a few items on a high appearance frequency- Containers, like Crates and Capsules, Smart Bombs, powerful explosives, Cracker Launchers, missile launcher-esque cannons, the ever-hated Banana Peel, and Bumpers, bouncy, Smasher-reflecting objects.

And, Smash Balls. Of all things… _**Smash Balls.**_

The fight began. The stage was Final Destination, a stage made of blue steel. A spinning red triangle was in its center. The stage was completely flat, its sides having steep ledges, which could easily trap someone inside them, preventing recovery.

The background slowly revealed many blue and purple lights as Wolf jumped out of his _Wolfen_, a red and black ship with four backward-bent, white-tipped wings, and Ike appeared from a bright flash of light.

"_**3… 2… 1… GO!**_"

Wolf and Ike ran toward each other. The canine, being much more nimble that the sword-wielding blue-haired man, struck with his Dash Attack, a flip kick. Ike popped up into the air, landing in front of Wolf. The pilot of the _Wolfen_ performed his Forward Smash, hitting Ike with a quick dash forward, his claw hitting the mercenary with the initial dash and when he stopped, for whatever reason. Ike was sent forward, landing just in front of the edge.

He turned around, performed a small jump, a jump of very low height, and hit Wolf with a backward sword slice, his Back Aerial attack. Wolf went backward a short distance, and was hit by Ike's fist, then his boot, and then a downward slam from the Ragnell. It was Ike's standard attack combo.

Wolf landed on his feet, seeing a Smart Bomb behind him. Smart Bombs came from his own universe, being a tapered explosive of red color, a white circle with a black **B** in the middle. The canine grabbed it and quickly tossed it at Ike, creating a slowly-widening explosion upon impact. Ike grunted as he was thrown into the air from the blast, already having over 50.

The mercenary rolled away from his rough landing, and grabbed a silver and green Rolling Crate, a wheeled Crate, that had just spawned. He threw the heavy item at Wolf, making the mobile container speed toward the gray-furred canine.

Wolf instantly put his hands together, which signaled for something on his back to activate: a red, pulsing Reflector, Wolf's Down Special attack, which sent the Rolling Crate back at Ike as two pulsating scythe blades of red light flashed upon contact.

The swordsman put the Ragnell at a downward angle in front of his body, gripping its handle with both hands. This was Ike's Counter, his Down Special attack. As the Rolling Crate hit him, Ike slammed it with his sword, crushing it. Two Bumpers, white circular objects with a black Smash symbol in the middle, the circle with an off-center cross, and a blue ring around them, appeared from the mechanical debris…

Along with a Smash Ball. The rainbow-colored ball hovered around as Ike and Wolf noticed its presence.

Both instantly ran for the item, which was hovering in the stage's middle. Ike brought his sword behind his head, slashing the Smash Ball with the downward swing of his Forward Aerial. The Smash Ball made an odd noise as the blow landed. Wolf also hit the spherical object, with his Back Aerial, a strong kick behind him.

With its lowered stamina, a single hit would break open the power-filled "piñata". As it hovered above the right side of the flat stage, the background changing from a purple warp tube to a beautiful scene in a cloudy, starry night sky, Wolf brought out a black handgun, which had a bayonet on the front. A green arrow-like shot of energy was launched at the Smash Ball.

It broke apart, as Wolf gained a flashing aura, his only visible eye becoming nearly pupil-less from the bright yellow light that enveloped it. He smirked as Ike groaned, running to the other side of the stage.

Wolf struck a pose, and yelled out: "_**We're gonna have FUN with this thing!**_"

As he flew up and began to come down in his red and black version of the Star Fox tank, he thought to himself.

…_Heh, maybe having this huge thing as my "ultimate move" ain't so bad after all… Ike, you're road kill. _

PM: Well? Did I do the fight scenes okay? I was as descriptive as I felt needed with the characters and moves… R&R please! :)


	2. Wolf, on Tripping

Chapter Two: Wolf, on Tripping

PM: I came up with this on my own, after it actually happened to me. /

_**Chapter Two: Wolf, on Tripping.**_

Wolf was currently in the middle of, of course, another match. The setting? Mario Bros., one of what Master Hand had described as "retro stages". It had an odd, eight-bit video game feel to it, being made up of several horizontal blue lines.

Wolf's opponent in the three-stock match was R.O.B., one of possibly two "black sheep" in the Brawl tournament's fighter cast. R.O.B. was a red and brownish-gray robot which few, if any, had heard of, much like the enigmatic Mr. Game & Watch and clearly accidentally-added Pichu during the Melee tournament.

As said before, it was the middle of the match. R.O.B. was down to his final life, and Wolf was close to losing his second. Both were on the bottom level of the stage, a red tile floor.

The gray canine shot at his mechanical foe with his slow-to-fire Blaster, the robot shielding most of the green laser blasts.

_You cannot defeat me with your laser, Wolf O'Donnell._ spoke R.O.B. in his monotonous, robotic voice.

The robot then reared back, and shot two thin red laser beams at Wolf, inflicting minor damage.

"Neither can you, you hunk of junk…" growled the pilot. "Or, at least, I can't let you do that."

_Try and stop me._

Wolf dashed toward R.O.B., preparing himself to perform a flip kick. However, R.O.B. suddenly fired a burst of pink and red electric energy from his eyes, sending Wolf flying backwards. He bumped between the right, lowest floor, sliding to the stage's blast line.

"NO!!" yelped Wolf as an explosion of blue and white light signified the loss of his second stock.

He growled as the spinning, blue and green platform materialized at the top middle of the odd stage, him on it. _That hunk of scrap metal is gonna taste my claw __**so bad…**_ he thought angrily.

He got down to R.O.B. as fast as he could… But right as he was about to land his infamous forward palm-thrust attack, a weird-looking, green-shelled, turtle-esque creature ran up behind him. It was a Shellcreeper, one of the hazardous residents of the Mario Bros. stage. Wolf flew forward, practically sliding across the ground.

…But, as unlucky as it was for the poor wolf, just before one of the pipes in the background was another Shellcreeper, this one having a purple shell. Wolf suddenly fell onto his backside, sliding backward into the previous Shellcreeper, which had turned around and was headed the same way Wolf was, until he was hit.

The same was true for the second turtle; Wolf was hit by it, again falling backward, which was the hated "trip" action that had been implemented into Brawl tournament fights.

This sent him AGAIN into the first Shellcreeper. Wolf groaned as he was flung back to the second. He managed to bring his bubble-like shield up around him before he was hit, making the turtle crawl over to the pipe and jump into it.

…But then, after Wolf took down his shield and walked over to R.O.B., who had assumed a safe position just behind where the yellow, suspended pipe on the right was, a Shellcreeper crept up from behind him, having just landed from the upper level. R.O.B. prepared another burst of electricity, beginning to flash yellow as he charged the move… _On the opposite side of his body that Wolf was._

_What's he doing?_ muttered Wolf mentally. Suddenly, he was hit forward, landing on his backside once again. R.O.B. released his smash attack just as the pilot slid into range, sending him to the blast line.

The robot had won.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_I hate tripping, and any idiot who thinks it's funny, good, or even a half-decent idea._ thought Wolf angrily.

"So, Wolf…" spoke a voice as Wolf reclined on a couch in the Smash Mansion foyer.

The gray-furred canine's eye opened, revealing none other than a smirking Fox McCloud before him.

"…Fox..." growled Wolf.

Fox chuckled smugly. "So, uh, how'd your match with R.O.B. go? Nah, don't tell me. I saw it. Nice trip, Wolf. Right into R.O.B.'s attack."

The _Wolfen_'s pilot snarled at Fox. "McCloud, get out of my sight before you're out of _everyone's_ sight _**FOR GOOD!**_"

Fox smirked, and walked a small distance away, out of Wolf's sight. The Star Wolf leader then picked up a loaf of bread laying on the table in front of him.

"…Where the heck did this garbage come from? _Italian_ bread? Ugh." groaned Wolf.

A blue laser beam hit the back of his head, merely stinging. But that was followed by a slicing smack from blue wings covered partially by the sleeves of a gray vest, a blue Star Fox insignia on the left sleeve's end…

"Wolf… HANDS OFF MY BREAD!" shouted a familiar, New York-accented voice. Falco Lombardi took the loaf of Italian bread from Wolf's clawed grip, running off with it.

Wolf simply stayed collapsed on the floor, muttering:

"What the heck?!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_Meanwhile, around the corner…_

"Good job, Falco." said Fox as he laughed quietly.

"I guess you're the one who should be thankful!" smirked the cobalt bird as he and the leader of Star Fox walked off to their rooms.

PM: Video game quotes (Or misquotes, as the case is for one.) for the win? :P

I abandoned the whole name-of-the-move-being-used thing. Was the fight scene still good? Also, sorry for the shortness. If you have an idea, PLEASE give it to me. ;;;


	3. The Ultimate Pilot Showdown!

Chapter Three: The Ultimate Pilot Showdown

_**Chapter Three: The Ultimate Pilot Showdown**_

Wolf was silently eating his midday meal, alone, as usual. He closed his eye and took a bite out of his lunch, five slices of roast beef on a bun. His table manners were quite impressive, considering his species.

Wolf's mind drifted as he savored the taste of his favorite meat.

_Good grief… I can't believe that birdbrain took so much __**bread.**__ It's annoying how much he loves that stuff! One of these days, I'm gonna make that blue-faced gizzard eat a poached egg, heh-heh-heh…_

As he, while smirking, took another bite from his sandwich, a figure approached him… A blue spandex, golden boot, and orange glove-clad, masculine figure with a shiny, red helmet. A falcon-like, gold insignia was positioned on the top middle of the helmet, and a black visor with white, triangular eyes on it suspended down from inside the helmet, covering the man's upper face.

"…Wolf." said the figure, being the famous, glamorous Captain Falcon, F-Zero grand prix champion.

The gray-furred canine's ears perked up. "Oh, Falcon. What do you want?"

"W-well, uh…" The racer scratched the barely-visible brown hair on his neck. "The semiannual piloting contest is coming up. In fact, it's a week from now. It started with the first tournament, in fact… Just Fox, Samus, and I. Then, we gave Falco a chance, taking Fox's place. So, now it'll be you, me, and Sam. Oh, and Olimar. We'll be having a couple of other entrants without spaceships, by definition, too."

A toothy smirk appeared on Wolf's face. "Sam?"

"Err, well, y'know… It's shorter? Anyway, Wolf, are you gonna show us your piloting moves…?"

A playful smirk appeared on Falcon's face.

"Why not? As long as I can finally fly with McCloud and… Doughboy out of my fur."

Falcon did a short, two-fingered salute, and walked away. Wolf scratched the hairs below his chin.

…_Of course, I'll have to up my ship's performance… I've heard about Falcon and Aran, and their ships. Fathead just has some clunky rocket ship, so… Heh._

He took a sip of his drink, orange soda- to Wolf, it was the roast beef of beverages…

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

There were a few garages on the island where anything mechanical could be worked on, all separate. Wolf was on a rolling board underneath his ship, the _Wolfen_. It was a ship with a front that looked similar to parallel, slightly-spaced-apart needle-nosed pliers, a cannon in-between them. The cockpit was black, and the four 105-degree angle wings formed a red and white X from a front view.

Leon Powalski, one of Wolf's two teammates, leaned on a mechanical box. He was, as his name suggested, a chameleon, with green, scaly skin, bulged-out eyes, and a curled tail. There were also yellow marks under his eyes. He was clad in a black and dark blue jumpsuit made of metal and spandex, small steel spikes lining the top center of his tail and back.

Wolf rolled out from underneath his ship. "Leon, hand me the socket wrench."

Leon turned to the box behind him, pulled out said metal tool, and handed it to Wolf. "Socket wrench." His voice was high-pitched, creepy, and slightly British in accent.

Wolf put the wrench beside him. "Oh, and one of those bars."

Leon sighed, rubbing his green head. "Lord O'Donnell, you really must stop your addiction to these. You'll put on pounds by the minute!"

"NOW, POWALSKI. Or will I get my energy from chewing you out, _literally?_"

Leon gulped, and grabbed a bar- a candy bar, that is. It was wrapped in whitish-cream plastic, having the words **WHITE CHOCOLATE & COOKIE BITS **on it. The lizard cautiously handed it to Wolf, who ripped apart the wrapper voraciously- the white, brown-spotted candy bar came out unscathed, staying so for about the time it takes to blink. After finishing off the food that was, in Wolf's point of view, the orange soda of sweet foods, the canine returned to his work.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_A week later…_

Lined up before a large white line were the contestants in the first of two parts in the pilot contest, an island-spanning race. Contestants were to fly along a marked path twice, which spanned the island's sandy and mountainous edge. The use of weapons were banned.

Starting at the first position was Bowser, a large, turtle-like monster with a green, spiked shell, a red mohawk, horns on his green head, and orange-scaled skin. The terror of the Mushroom Kingdom was in his Koopa Klown Kopter, a hovering, cup-shaped ship colored white, with an orange, evil clown face on it. The rim was green, as was the propeller on the bottom.

In second was Wolf, in his _Wolfen_. To the right and back of him was Samus Aran, unseen while piloting her _Starship_, a round, orange ship with green windshields and red and orange protrusions on the sides, looking somewhat like claws. In actuality, they were what the ship stayed on when grounded, along with a lowering elevator-like tube, which is how Samus got into the ship.

In fourth, a short distance behind Wolf but still behind in distance from Samus, was Captain Falcon in the long _Falcon Flyer_. The square rear of the ship was dark blue, and the top and front were gold. The front of the ship looked like a falcon's head, its eyes being green. In fifth was Captain Olimar in the _Hocotate_, a pink and white, weathered rocket. A sole, circular window was in the bottom side of the battered ship.

In sixth was Kirby, driving a vehicle he typically used for racing- however, he could fly with it as well. It was a yellow star with a bubble-like windshield in the top center, in which the pink marshmallow sat as the vehicle hovered.

An unseen announcer started the countdown. "The race begins in…"

A Lakitu, an orange-skinned turtle-like creature with a green shell and brown glasses riding a cloud, appeared in front of the racers, holding a stop light. It flashed blue, red, yellow, and then green as the announcer yelled:

_**3!**_

_**2!**_

_**1!**_

_**GO!**_

Quickly, the ships began their race.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Wolf, Samus, and Kirby took an early lead. The three were neck and neck, with Falcon breathing on their necks, Olimar a fair distance behind them, and Bowser in a clearly defined last.

Kirby looked toward Samus's ship and waved his stubby arms. "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

Wolf flinched upon hearing the screech- for whatever reason, Kirby's voice went through to his radio AND Samus's.

He called back. "Shut your big mouth, puffball."

The wolf only heard a sniffle. Kirby's ship slowly lost altitude and crashed diagonally in the sand. A whiny cry was the last thing heard from Kirby's radio.

"Wolf, was that really needed?" called Samus.

"Are you saying you WANTED him to continue that? Bah, I've got no time to ponder such questions."

A blue light shone out from the end of the _Wolfen_. The red, black, and white ship picked up tremendous speed, accelerating out of sight. The _Falcon Flyer_ rode up beside the _Starship_.

"What happened to Kirby?" asked Falcon.

Samus groaned. "Wolf said something pretty mean to him. How typical."

The F-Zero pilot sighed, and then sped up, passing Samus. She sat still for a moment.

"…HE SO JUST DISTRACTED ME."

Kicking her ship's thrusters to their maximum output, the bounty huntress caught up with Falcon and Wolf as they battled for first.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The two laps were completed quickly. Amazingly, Wolf, Falcon, and Samus all tied. Olimar came in fourth, and Bowser fifth. Kirby was being recovered.

After half an hour, the pink puffball was recovered. His condition? Bordering on nervous breakdown. He forfeited, leaving to cry his heart out.

The unseen announcer began speaking again. "…Okay then. Well, um… Next up is the second part of this competition: AN ALL OUT BATTLE!"

Bowser let out a roar. "WHAT?! I didn't see that in the pamphlet… My Koopa Kopter doesn't have any weapons!"

He dejectedly began walking off. Olimar walked beside him, the large-headed, giant-nosed spaceman being disqualified under the same conditions as Bowser.

Wolf, Samus, and Falcon all looked at each other.

"Well, looks like play time's over…" said a smirking Wolf.

"Just try me." spoke Samus.

"SHOW ME YOUR MOVES!" shouted a saluting Captain Falcon. "I mean, if you want. If you don't want to show me your moves, then that's fine."

Samus and Wolf gave him questioning looks before all three got into the driver's seat of their aircrafts.

As the three ships lifted off the ground, whirring noises from the _Falcon Flyer_ and _Starship_ signified the revealing of their weapon systems.

The claw-like stands on the side of Samus's ship were, as with during the race, horizontal. However, they were also open, with a missile-firing cannon in the openings on each side. Falcon's ship seemingly sprouted a machine gun turret on its underside, below the cockpit.

"Get ready…"

The three pilots gripped the various controlling devices of their ships.

"…_**GO!**_"

Samus fired rockets from her ship, toward the _Falcon Flyer_. Captain Falcon maneuvered his blue and gold ship out of the path of the missiles, rapidly firing energy bullets at the _Starship_'s hull- small dents were the only immediate damage.

Wolf, meanwhile, began using the multi-target lock feature on his _Wolfen_, charging two shots to maximum power that locked onto and followed their targets. He released the fire button, sending green balls of energy at both of his opponent's ships. A fair amount of visible damage occurred, the sides of the _Falcon Flyer_ and _Starship_ both smoking.

Samus turned toward Wolf and started blasting missiles toward him, and Falcon began firing his ship's turret toward the canine. The leader of Star Wolf instinctively twisted the steering device on his red, black, and white ship to the left and right, going into a barrel roll. All six missiles and countless energy bolts were deflected back, pummeling both ships.

"I don't know how Fox and Falco kept beating this guy…" groaned the F-Zero champion as he noticed the barrel roll stopped. He held the fire button, blasting shot after shot at the _Wolfen_.

_**Medium shield damage.**_ beeped the on-board computer of the _Wolfen_.

"Ah, shut up." growled Wolf, performing a barrel roll again. The shots were deflected away from Falcon, however, toward Samus.

_**Warning: incredible booster damage. Moderate hull damage. High turret damage. Incredible-**_

"Stupid thing…" growled Samus. She landed on the ground, forfeiting.

The bounty huntress walked out of the third, lowering stand of her ship, looked up, and fired a blast of orange energy from her arm cannon at the _Wolfen_ before grudgingly walking to the crowd.

Falcon and Wolf were alone, engaging in fierce rapid-fire combat.

_**WARNING! WARNING! MAXIMUM DAMAGE SUSTAINED!**_ blared the computer voice aboard the _Falcon Flyer_.

_**Maximum shield damage taken! Abort! Eject! Abort! Eject!**_

Falcon and Wolf landed their ships and exited them- for all three of the pilots, a new ship wasn't in their budget.

_**Ladies and gentlemen, we have a tie between Wolf O'Donnell and Captain Douglas Falcon!**_ roared the invisible announcer. From nowhere, a floating screen appeared with the competitors' places. The race's placing list was at the top, the dogfight on the bottom.

**Race**

**1: Wolf O'Donnell (**_**Wolfen**_**)**

**1: Captain Douglas Falcon (**_**Falcon Flyer**_**)**

**1: Samus Aran (**_**Starship**_**)**

**4: Captain Olimar (**_**Hocotate**_**)**

**5: King Bowser Koopa (**_**Koopa Klown Kopter**_**)**

**6: Kirby (**_**Star Cruiser**_**)**

**Dogfight**

**1: Wolf O'Donnell**

**1: Captain Douglas Falcon**

**2: Samus Aran**

Wolf and Falcon looked at each other.

"Captain, you are one respectable pilot." said the canine with a toothy smirk.

The two shook hands as Falcon spoke. "Right back at ya, Wolf. Those were some fantastic maneuvers you pulled off."

Samus clapped her hand and arm cannon in a bored manner. Captain Falcon and Wolf approached her.

"As usual, same for you, Sam." said the F-Zero champ. "You probably just lost because you kinda got ganged up on unintentionally, ha-ha…"

Samus sighed. "Whatever. You both did pretty well. Especially you, Wolf, being the newcomer."

Wolf smirked. But it soon faded as his pupil slid over to Falco, who was sitting in the top row of seats…

_**Eating bread.**_

The gray-furred canine went berserk. He cleared the lower benches in front of Falco, who was completely possessed by his love for bread.

Wolf brought his arms behind his head, then rushed forward through the air, a purple mist following him. Falco was hit by Wolf as he landed at the top bleacher, freezing for a moment before flying up into the air after a loud crackle was heard.

"_**MY BREAD!**_" screamed the cobalt bird as he fell back, making an arc going up and left. A twirling blue star appeared as Falco disappeared, along with a "ping!" noise.

_**GAME!**_ shouted the announcer. Wolf slapped his head, resulting in the star disappearing, Falco having been behind it. The ace pilot of Star Fox fell to the ground a good fifty feet below.

"…Hey! Bread!" cheered Falco. Oddly enough, his voice- and another's- were hearable despite the difference and trees.

"_That is MY bread, Falco!_"

"Hands off my bread!"

"…Prepare yourself…"

"_Don't try me._"

"You'll get no sympathy from me."

"_You aren't worth the trouble!_"

Instead of a voice, a sound that resembled a very loud "BOOM!" echoed over the island. Falco flew off into the distance.

"Ah, nothing like a good old Ike F-Smash…" said the second voice from beyond the woods. "Time to give my bread to my friends, which I fight for, by the way."

Wolf simply rubbed the area between his bushy white eyebrows and returned to the mansion after collecting his golden trophy.

PM: Heh-heh, yay for bread and "i FiGhT fOr My FrIeNdZ" jokes.

…Maybe. Reviews are appreciated, flames are hated, and _flamers_ get Patinated.


End file.
